"When you live hard and you play hard and burn the candle at both ends... in this life, you can lose everything you love, everything that loves you. Alot of people told me that I'd never wrestle again, they said "he's washed up", "he's finished" , "he's a loser", "he's all through". You know what? The only ones gonna tell me when I'm through doing my thing, is you people here. You people here... you people here. You're my family."
-Randy The Ram Robinson
Break me down, tell me what you think of me, tell me all the bad things i've done, tell me what my flaws are...just remember this... I will be anyone other than myself. Every single person i know has at least one complaint about me... so what am i supposed to do CHANGE EVERY SINGLE ASPECT. FUCK THAT. there is a big difference between changing and growing. I'm growing up way faster than i wanted to... but thats my fault, I'm still the same person, but i know better than to fall victim to my own mistakes and i know better than to let someone else get hurt from my mistakes.
but god damn do i have some more growing to do... I'm living a life were im completely depenedent on other people like i always have.... now though, i dont have anyone... even my parents are losing hope. my brother doesn't call. friends are pretty non existant. i couldnt tell you the last time someone has wanted to hang out with me. Which is expected, but I have no idea what to do with myself. When I'm alone my mind tortures me with thoughts of you....its even harder when i eliminate chemicals and mutilation...You can't forgive me until my actions speak. I'm gonna rock your fucking eardrums...(you probably think "oh he's said it before, nothings gonna happen, he's such a liar" WRONG its not even because i owe you anymore its because you expect me to fail, you want me to give up...and YOU know thats the way to get me involved)
you = anyone that feels like thats them.
Friday, October 2, 2009
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